Feeling Held in My Recovery
About the Healing Camaraderie of an Addict Convention
May 31, 2010
I recently attended my second S-convention with the local fellowship in which I am increasingly dedicating more of my time and energy. It was an engaging, amazing, spiritual experience.
I can’t stress enough the importance of getting beyond the cage of my addiction, the prison of my narcissism and rage, and really getting into the work of recovery. The convention helped reaffirm for me, once again, how deeply healing it can be to see so many people — of such different stripes, with such vivid and awe-inspiring stories — come together with the goal of healing themselves. The convention I attended reinforced my confidence in the efficacy of the Twelve Steps. Over the convention weekend, shame was replaced by sharing, isolation was replaced by camaraderie. There we all were, about 400 people strong, moving forward in our program, taking action in our lives.
Examining what life was like before recovery, what happened to get us to recovery, and what it’s like now in recovery isn’t always easy. It doesn’t always feel good; it often hurts. But I can’t help but feel so held this whole weekend. I was brought to tears of joy and pain and sympathy, sometimes all at once; and with complete strangers, who after our moment of connection through tears felt like old, old friends.
I wish for every recovering addict the opportunity to explore the depth of fellowship, the wellspring of recovery, in like manner as I experienced at the convention. I am not alone in my addiction nor in my recovery from it. None of us is. I think I will hold onto this feeling of wholeness, this welcoming warmth, for quite some time.
