Keep on Moving
Staying Sober Through Accidents, Frustration, and Pain
February 14, 2011
A week ago, I was in a car accident which re-inflamed the same back injuries from a prior accident barely over a year ago. Someone rear-ended me, whereas the earlier accident was definitely a split-decision. Further full disclosure: as a younger man I had a terrible driving record, so anytime I’m in one of these things, I quite deservedly get a lot of heat (jokingly and not-so-jokingly) from family and friends.
In any case, I took a day off work after getting out of the ER at two in the morning and then worked the next six days straight because the store I manage does ten times its usual business on Valentine’s Day. In the span of that week, my ex-wife renegotiated our boundaries, my son got sick twice, my back pain from the accident flared up because I refused to take the narcotic I was prescribed because it got me too high, and I got into an argument with a customer who badgered me. I skipped most of my recovery meetings and canceled with my therapist due to very obvious time and energy constraints.
But I don’t regret a minute of it; save, perhaps that outburst with the customer. I really wish I could’ve made my Sunday night meeting but it just wasn’t possible. I maintained my sobriety; I maintained my cool except for the aforementioned notable exception. I was willing to receive my ex-wife’s feelings when in the past, I would’ve become very defensive; and I kept moving forward. I made and received calls from my therapist, fellow addicts, and my sponsee in lieu of meetings. I also set a personal record for most Serenity Prayers recited in one day.
I’m trying to share, not “dump,” and perhaps this is too much information. The point, though, is that I survived. I didn’t become too negative, I acknowledged my frustrations and confusions, and I faced my challenges, as opposed to running from them or wallowing in them.
The Third Step Prayer from the AA Big Book helps me deal with difficulties, or when I’m bothered or not able to focus on the present moment. It goes: “God, I offer myself to you, to build with me and do with me as you will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better seek your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help by your power, your love, and your way of life. May I do your will always.” Amen.
