Make a Call
Reaching Out is a Kill-Switch to Acting Out
October 25, 2010
My message today is simple and to the point: make a call. Making a call for me is one of the most effective ways of staying on-program. It keeps me honest and accountable. In sharing part of myself and my day with someone else in fellowship, I am willing to be vulnerable and intimate, which is something I could never do while actively addicted, because I wasn’t living a life of honesty or intimacy.
Making a call can act as a kill-switch to a potential acting-out session. When I get “pinged” — when my addiction radar sets off — I can be vigilant and call someone before I even start veering into that murky middle ground of not quite breaking my sobriety, but not acting healthily. Making a call stops my addictive impulses before they can get on their treadmill and really start running amok. When I call and share a difficulty, I realize that I can survive getting pinged, and that my addiction won’t kill me if I am pro-active against its insidiousness. I can then take in some wisdom from a fellow’s experience or take in the grounding effect of just being heard. It’s incredibly freeing to get something off my chest now, because I remember how restrictive and painful it was for all those years I had held onto so many feelings and stresses.
I really appreciate how my friends in program listen compassionately. The same compassion I rarely showed myself in my active addiction is what I get when someone in fellowship hears me out without judgement or sarcasm. I benefit so much by making a simple call. Early on in program, I practiced calls, especially in order to get to know people in my program, and to build a foundation of trust. Calling when I’m not triggered can strike up a new friendship in program or build upon a friendship already forming. It takes courage to make a call, but getting over that hump of self-consciousness might prove to be a life-altering decision. And it’s such a useful, simple tool to put into practice.
