Practice Makes Progress
Achieving Two Years’ Sobriety, One Day at a Time
November 22, 2010
Tonight, I’m reminding myself of the thankfulness which is the theme of this week. It’s interesting because I’m contemplative and a little sad. I wanted to hang out with my family tonight, but I had to do more work after a brief visit with them. Honestly, although I have my emotions about tonight, I don’t regret anything I feel because I’m content to be so in touch with my emotions. I am working on perspective, on things having their proper place and time; I am working on balance these days and more and more.
I have two years sobriety now and I’m just now starting to get that self-care means not only being abstinent from my sexual acting-out, but also balancing all aspects of my life, which, without sobriety, could only be gleaned through the smudged lens of addiction. Balance means sleeping more regularly, exercising, eating well, family time, socializing, working smarter not harder. Self-care means surrendering everything; it’s self-compassion. Whatever difficulty comes across my path in life can be met with the same process of asking for grace — and serenity and acceptance — with which I try to meet my sobriety challenges.
The cool thing is, I not only feel my spiritual growth through my internal conversations with God but through action, in a very practical way. It’s wonderful because my therapist often ends a session with a recap reminding me of how differently I now respond to negative stimuli, to challenges, to stress, etc. And while the process of my response isn’t always rosy at all, it’s positively progressive. Just as my addiction is negatively progressive and its appetite became more voracious the more I acted out, my recovery, too, is progressive, is becoming more regular. Practice makes progress.
That again is part of the process of surrendering anything and everything I can; basically, having as regular a conversation with God as I can muster, in the little details, in the little temptations, and in the bigger, angrier, and more difficult moments. And I thank God, my fellows in program, and everyone in my support network, for every moment of this process.
